WHY AM I ALIVE...?
I cried as the tears ran from my eyes, longing for the answer I knew I must find. Now stop, take a step back, look around and consider the purpose for which you are alive. Are we all here by chance, the product of evolution? Do my actions have any consequence? What am I supposed to do with my life? Is there a God? These are all question we have asked ourselves. So what is our purpose as human beings? Do I exist to just to exist?
I want to tell you about my experiences searching for the answers to these age-old questions. I first started to consider these things as I watched the struggle of my mother to raise her two sons without a father. At a young age I could not grasp why my father did not love his own children and why my mother had to work so hard to raise me. As I grew older, I struggled with a deep need for attention. I looked anywhere I could to find it. I so much wanted the approval of others for I felt empty inside. In my search for approval, I found myself in many bad scenarios. I was doing things I knew I should not. I also felt my heart growing distant from my mother whom I deeply loved, as I engaged in the very things she had told me growing up not to do. She had said many times you have to consider your future, finish school and do something good with your life. But I needed more, I couldn't just settle for the American middle class dream.
At that point I didn't know what I was searching for. As a teen I was so deeply affected by all the pain and injustice that I saw around me. Why did it have to be this way? I watched as a friend's family decayed, leaving them hopeless of having loving relationships. I found myself becoming more and more frustrated, I couldn't take it anymore! But where was the answer, could it be found? I found myself lost and hopeless for I realized i had no idea why I was alive. I was just another person born to wander the earth. One night as I lay in bed thinking, I began to cry. In my heart I felt alone, angry, and hopeless. I had to know why! Consumed with emotion and the will to find the truth I cried out to God to please show me why I was alive. Why was there so much injustice? I honestly never expected an answer, but I am glad to tell you I was given one. I found my home, a place to belong.
"Could it truly be?" I thought to myself, for in the Twelve Tribes community I visited, I saw people caring for one another in a way I never had before -- with apparent deep regard. In time I came to realize I had found love and the answers to my questions about life. What greater thing can a human being do with their life than to love others? It is an undeniable truth that every human being desires friendship, love, and dignity. There is no greater gift you can give another person.
Dear reader, I want you to know, the love that I have found is for you as well and any who desire to find the truth.